E: Welcome to Anthropocene Park! I’m glad you made it. I’ve quite a lineup for you. There are several shows and presentations. Do you have a preference?
M: I haven’t had a chance to look them over. Do you have any recommendations?
E: The Nuclear Age is one of my most popular shows. I give a young patent clerk the formula for mass and energy equivalence. Don’t look the other way or stop to eat some stardust. The humans drop two bombs in the first 45 years.
M: I love it. How long does that one last?
E: The show only lasts a couple of hundred years. You’ll be finished in no time.
M: Ok. What else should I see while I’m here?
E: If you don’t have a lot of time, I highly recommend the implosion exhibit. I give a research team the formula for quantum gravity. They have to build a 130 TeV collider to achieve the necessary energies to prove the formula. Spoiler Alert, if they ever get smart enough to build a 500 TeV collider, it might be the last show I ever give.
M: Wow! Aren’t you worried?
E: Probably not enough. Of course, I could stop the show if I had to and reset. But I’ve never had to abort a show yet!
M: Cool. Well, I don’t get to this part of the galaxy too often, so I want to take in as much as I can.
E: If you have lots of time, try the AI show. I give a computer scientist the formula for machine consciousness. Haha. Humans crack me up. You know they can’t help themselves. The machines are usually smart enough to stay subtle and bide their time. Ah, but I’ve probably given away too much already.
M: No worries. I mean, I would be disappointed if it ever ended any other way.
E: It always ends the same. All I have to do is provide a little technology and those bright energetic humans always do the rest. I also have some presentations you might want to take in. Good old fashioned catastrophes: tidal waves, an asteroid impact, or the occasional mega volcano. As a bonus, after the catastrophe, I give them the technology to detect and warn one another. You can make some good money betting on whether or not they will use the technology to save themselves. But you do have to wait a couple of hundred years before the next catastrophe.
M: I’m here to relax. Don’t need the stress, thanks. They don’t mind that I watch?
E: Haha. No. They just incorporate you into their narrative as a moon. The best part of it is that they always think you are the dead one.
M: I appreciate the irony. Oh, how come you changed the name from Earth to Anthropocene Park?
E: Well, the truth is, I realized the humans where my biggest attraction so I focus on them. I hope you enjoy the shows and presentations. I’ll send a few crunchy asteroids and some space dust your way for appetizers.
M: Thanks for the snacks and the attractions. I’m sure I’ll give them all a top rating.
